is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
handjob tips. give me some.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
