Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
