I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
