Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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