i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
