we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
