Need sex. Gaining weight.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Randomize
