3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
