please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
