i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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