she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
