Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
