Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize