How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
