It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
