Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
