she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
