i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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