i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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