ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
