But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize