She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
