you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
