My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize