And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
