3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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