I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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