never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
