i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
