her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
