I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
