: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
