Well douche your snatch and let's go!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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