Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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