i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
