Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
operation harelip BJ is a go
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
