the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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