Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize
