She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
No subtext here. People are naked.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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