he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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