My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
