There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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