Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
