its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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