I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize