i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
