You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
