when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
