her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
What drink are we having for lunch?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
