We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
