Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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