I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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