so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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