i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
