So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
