Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
