when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
