Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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