do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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